There are many factors that influence finding your “Real” birth order.
Looking at the dynamics in the family is only one of them.
I recall two boys in a family that I treated that had a very interesting relationship. The first two children are always subject to sibling rivalry. We learned about that in the Bible with Cain and Able.
The Firstborn wants to hold on to the throne.
In this family, the second born boy was named after his father, and carried the title of Jr. after his name. This gave him an edge to dethrone number one with very little effort.
As they grew into adults, the firstborn had trouble in school and as an adult had multiple jobs. The second born took over the family business working with his father.
There is more to a name than you think.
Psychologically, if not used correctly, names can have a devastating effect on a child. In this case, naming the second son after the Dad, had the effect of saying “Dad likes your younger brother best”.
Tommy Smothers the oldest of the Smother’s brothers use to say “Mom likes me best” as they were raised by their Mom.
I am Dr. Robert Hurst author of Life’s Fingerprint: How Birth Order Affects Your Path Throughout Life. I have been an Orthodontist for over 50 years and have been observing my patients from childhood to adulthood and beyond. My patients call me Dr. Bob.